Results

The results are in and I wanted to give everyone waiting a quick update....I AM CANCER FREE!!!! per the PET sca Everything is gone!!!! No evidence for distant metastatic disease, right axillary lymph node has resolved!

Leticia Gonzalez Reinke

The pink bands made it to Mexico!!!!

From the bottom of my Heart.... Thank you for all you have done and will continue to do!
~Leticia 

Dear Santa.....

My how time goes by rather quickly and now three months have passed by and time for a blog update...

We Believe!
Brian & Leticia
Bianca 15, Brooke 13, Blayr 7, Lincoln 4

Time seemed fitting since we are hours away from getting in our car to travel to Dallas for our next appointment, which is the one I have been waiting for and I know as Brian said last night, we as a family have been waiting for since the initial diagnosis in January.  Eleven months later.. almost to the exact day here we are,  going in for the final PET scan that will determine whether all of this "stuff" as I so eloquently call it worked. The scan will be Tuesday at 12:30, it takes about 2 hours, then we visit with Dr. Osborne on Wednesday at 3:00 for the results.  I ask for special thoughts and prayers for all of us during that time, not only me as I will be going through the actual procedure, but also my family as they will be waiting.  I know how hard waiting is, Brian will be sitting outside while I'm in the room the entire time and that is just tough! The kids', my sisters and parents will all be occupied back home, but will still be looking at the clock if I know them well enough.

Looking back at the surgery, then chemotherapy, then radiation, I ask myself which was the better.. none of them!  They all rank right about the same, but in different ways.  One thing I do know...I survived them all!! And if you are reading this, with your help!!!  I can't begin to thank you again for each and every kind gesture, word, thought, prayer, call, message of encouragement, visit and yet every step of the way we still keep getting unexpected little calls, special treats, visits, and they all so much to all of us.  Each and every one of them continue to come at just the right time.  So Blessed.....

Now for a little fun to the post, WOW, time to catch you up on the past three months.  Ready...

40th Birthday!!!!
October 24, 2011
Las Vegas, Nevada
Hard Rock Hotel - Pinktober Celebration!

A Trip to the Great Northwest, to visit family I had not seen in 25 years!  Portland, Oregon, Seatlle, Washington were just amazing... A very nice honor at the "Pink the Basin, Breast Cancer Luncheon" in October link..link 2. A trip to Las Vegas for my 40th Birthday!!! My sister Angie and brother-in-law Greg came to visit from Nashville upon our return and we had a small birthday party which was just perfect!!!  Lincoln played flag football! November, Brian and I were able to get away for a week to an all-inclusive resort (and new lifetime friends:) in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico.  He had been planning this trip for me as a get away after "everything" was finished.  INCREDIBLE is all I have to say..... December.. Christmas parade, Brooke's first band concert, kids' Christmas parties, decorating, a trip to see Santa....

A VERY special gift from Brian's FAVORITE NFL team to Lincoln.
Minnesota Vikings
from the Quarterback's Coach Johnson, an original pink towel used during the 2011 Cancer Awareness  Game
and a hat for mom!  The note was so special!

SISTERS!!!
Sylvia, Angie, Leticia

Portland, Oregon Sept 2011

Happy Thanksgiving, 11/2011!!!
Playa Del Carmen,  Mexico

We have an annual tradition. A trip to see Santa and get the kids' picture taken, they get to tell them what they want. Done.  This year, we had a little different visit.  I took the kids' picture, then wanted to take a picture with all 6 of us with Santa.  We had never done this before, but on a whim, I told Brian to jump in at the last minute.  Santa just smiled at us, they scooted us all in and ..click, first picture was perfect, hard to do with 6!  Then I stood up and went to talk to Santas helper to tell her what package I wanted.  As she and I were discussing the order, I looked over and they were all holding hands.  I just started crying.  She asked if I was OK, I told her I was, that I had an idea what the kids' had just asked for.  They all finished, Santa stood up and came and gave me a hug and said "you have a beautiful family"  I asked Brooke what was said and she told me that Lincoln and Blayr had both asked him for me to be cancer free and so he asked them if it was OK if they said a prayer.  I then asked Lincoln what he asked Santa for he said "a skateboard and let my mommy have free cancer", I asked Blayr what she had told Santa, she said "an art easel and mommy to be cancer free"  I'm so glad this Santa Believes, because we do!

Until my next post with the results........

hugs from cyberworld!

Leticia

Day full of Celebrations, Mixed Emotions, next.. Rest!

The long awaited day finally arrived, September 16th.  As I woke up yesterday morning and prepared myself to go for my last radiation treatment, so many emotions were going through my head. Happy beyond belief that I would no longer have to wake up and go to any more of these rough treatments, relieved that the toughest part of a journey I never imagined I would ever travel would soon be over, yet still concerned that we won't have any final results until December.  The latter will just have to be put as everything else has, in His Hands and with all of my warriors.  I have no doubt they will keep all thoughts and prayers coming my way until that day when we get the report that I am truly Cancer Free.  Today one thing is known, I DID SURVIVE THIS MUCH - I AM A SURVIVOR!

A Day full of Celebrations was my title because it was, September 15th was Brooke's 13th Birthday!  The sweet spirited child that she is, she didn't want a birthday party, just a brisket dinner with her family.  We had a dinner and then went to her open house, and were saving her present for the weekend so she could go to the mall and buy a pair of shoes she wanted.  When she walked home from school and saw all of the pink ribbons outside yesterday, I happened to be standing in the yard, she just ran up to me and we hugged and started crying, she told me "mom I got the best birthday present ever today because your done".  She's grown up more than she deserved this past year and was my rock at times that I felt like crumbling.  Just the other day, completely exhausted, I had gotten home from work and just fell fast asleep, she finally came in the bedroom with a bottle of water and said "mom you need to drink you have to keep hydrated and please take your blazer and shoes off".  As I followed her orders still half asleep and I told her I loved her, she covered me up and walked out of the room.  That my friends and family, happened several times.

Brooke's 13th Birthday!!!

Yesterday was also my mom and dad's 52nd Wedding Anniversary!  My mom has been here helping us and Papoe came to pick her up but it was a surprise as he rang the doorbell yesterday evening.  I must admit, Mimi was a little upset during the day, she felt that my dad had forgotten their special day and I had to keep the surprise in and just tell her I was sorry.  He hasn't lost his touch, even after 52 years, he called her on her cell and was telling her about his day and rang the doorbell to our house, I told her it was my sister at the door she walked up and was still talking to him and there he was! So adorable!!!  (I didn't even prep him on that one)  I told him "dad you were supposed to bring flowers", he said "there weren't any growing on the side of the road". Oh papoe!

Lupe & Tomas Gonzalez 52 years, 9/16/2011

Brian and I were able to go to dinner and share in another homecoming celebration for our some very special friends.  My co-worker Marsha Crook was able to bring her daughter home yesterday, Abbye Irons! Prayers have been answered all around.  Abbye has been fighting her battle with her Heart surgery but is on her way to recovery and we welcomed her home yesterday after several months in Houston.  It is Midland's turn to help her heal!  I am so blessed to be able to work directly with Marsha and also get to know her daughters and husband.  You always hear that your job is so much better if you like who you work with, well, I can't do much better than this!!

Marsha!

I will be taking the next two weeks off from work.  After talking to my Radiation Oncologist on Thursday and looking at my blood count, he asked me if there was any way I could take some time off.  The effects of radiation are cumulative and at this point physically I have reached the bottom and need to let my body heal as much as possible.  That burning that I had told you had not happened to me, well, it has now.  It was as if the last week was a super duper zapper of a week!  While I will miss seeing my offices and friends on a daily basis, rest is what I need.  My family will be taking great care of me and might even whisk me away to some cool weather place to enjoy some mountain peace, with beaches, waterfalls and rivers.

My family with Mimi! 

It's over! Time to let it go.....

Courage - Strength - Faith = Cancer Free

They had fun saying Mommy's finished, goodbye Cancer!

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!

The celebrations still aren't over, believe it or not!  One more for the weekend, but we did them all in one day!  Brian's 41st birthday is Monday 9/19 and look at his present below!!  This is something he has always wanted and was one of those opportunities and another blessing that came about by one of our great friends.   No, it's not free! Just one of those, at the right place, at the right time moments... then Happy Birthday Brian!

Even though my treatments are over, my blog won't be.  I will still be updating you about our continued journeys every couple of weeks.  We will have a PET scan in December to determine whether all of this worked.  I still get herceptin treatments every 3 weeks until April and my reconstructive surgery is tentatively scheduled for next summer.  For now, the hardest part is OVER!  Time to heal and my 40th birthday is just around the corner.  Talk about a time and reason to celebrate.  October 24th!!!!  

I have said this before, but this would not have been as easy to do - even as difficult as it was, without all of your support, it was what made this journey less hectic!  We have all enjoyed every meal, the gift cards are still being used and are treasured items in our house.  Please know that not one single item went unnoticed or unappreciated during this time, from the paper plates to..the pink bands, flowers, gifts galore, t-shirts, crosses, flight gift cards, love offerings, brisket fundraiser, wig, candles, head scarves, pink bat, every single card, texts, voicemails, facebook posts, messages, blog messages, the visits, I could go on and on......everything has been printed and has been placed in my "happy box" for those times that aren't so happy and those times that we need to say "we are blessed" we were by you.  Now it is time to pay it forward. 

Until my next blog entry, I leave you with a million Thank you's, hugs from cyberworld and this quote that was left on my porch yesterday by a dear friend....

Sometimes He calms the storm

With a whispered "Peace be still-"

He can settle any sea

But it doesn't mean He will.

Sometimes He holds us close

And lets the wind and waves go wild..

Sometimes He Calms the storm,

And other times He calms His child.

written by Wood &Stokes

"I'm Gonna Love You Through It" - Martina McBride

Bottom of the 9th!

The last stretch, The final quarter, however you word it one simple fact remains... ALMOST FINISHED.  I have not kept count when it has come to radiation, because there were so many.  I just knew that every Monday-Friday I had to be there bright and early and 33 was the magic number.  September 19 would be the final day, we have talked about doubling up one day next week so that I can finish on Sept 16.  The fatigue has been what they said it would be, difficult and progressively worse with each treatment.  Which has made my daily lifestyle challenging and work equally so.  I just remain ever so thankful that since January my support system has been so solid that everything has been tended to at home.  My mother has been able to come and stay with us to help with meals and housework which has made everyone very happy.  There is just something about having Mimi's cooking that make's everything OK!  When Mimi's here we also get to see more of my sister and my Aunt and Uncle which is nice for all of us!  Family, enough said.

Radiation effects on my skin have not been as difficult as I had read or heard they were with others, yea!.  I have experienced some swelling, tightness and darkening in the area that is being treated, but not the red, burning, type irritation that they warned about occurring.  Applying the creams we purchased, wearing loose clothing as instructed, and having to make adjustments such as not to not hang my bags over my right shoulder, I do believe have all helped contribute to making this go a little easier than expected.  Thank goodness!  Enough about me.

The kids have all gotten adjusted to going back to school and back to our daily routines.  Bianca is in High School at Midland High this year and just loves being a Bulldog!  She even made the front page of the Midland Reporter Telegram on August 31st with the picture below.  We were so proud!!

Bianca Rendon and Alexis Carrillo fold shirts Tuesday in the Dawg House spirit shop at Midland High. Students in the special needs classes at MHS man and run the shop before and during lunch at school. Photo by Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Read more: MHS Dawg House - Mywesttexas.com: Home http://www.mywesttexas.com/image_62cfbeb3-e3eb-5d61-b657-71913408c865.html#ixzz1XfobxGcb 
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

Brooke is in 7th grade at Goddard Junior High and adjusting.  The first week was a little difficult for all of us as we learned our way around such a large system.  She did not make the volleyball team, even at 5'7"!
We were under the impression that if you signed up for athletics you were on the volleyball team and were not aware until the week prior to school beginning that tryouts would be held for the team.  (this is where I get upset at being sick and blame myself for not being able to be more informed during the summer or last spring)  Little did we know that she would be trying out against 120 other girls for 24 spots and the majority of the girls had attended volleyball camps, etc.  I think we have a few numbers to coaches/players that would have been willing to work with her over the summer, but we didn't know.  Lesson learned.  She wants to try out for the basketball team, we might know a few coaches there also.  She is in band and all Pre-AP courses, loving every minute of it, although, Bianca and Lincoln didn't love the first time she had to practice her clarinet, that was funny!

Blayr is just dominating second grade.  I was not able to drop her off that day but it didnt' really matter.  Brian said she didn't even turn around and say goodbye to him, she was so excited to see her teacher, Ms Xiong!  Lincoln is loving his pre-k class with Ms. Marcia as his teacher at Grace Lutheran ECP.  He is so excited that he knows 2 "Marsha's" his teacher and the one ''I work with that takes him for ice cream'' he told me! He divides his time between Grace Lutheran and Little Red Wagon and gets the best of both worlds!

I was able to get my first "trim" two weeks ago!! Mac Tobar with Maximus Hair Salon always makes be feel great when I leave, Thank you Mac!  It was so nice to feel normal and like a lady if just for a little while.  Lincoln did ask me the other day "mommy when are you getting your girly hair back?"  I just laughed and said it will be awhile and thought to myself, I guess he is tired of my boy look!  I was also asked by the Allison Cancer Center to be one of the Breast Cancer Survivor Models during the 5th Annual Laura W. Bush Institute for Women's Health Breast Cancer Awareness Luncheon on October 11th. What a fun honor.

We continue to be blessed on a daily basis.  Still from people we know and from those we do not.  So grateful for His gracefulness during unsettling times.  Always humbling that we are not left alone yet we are assured that I have always had peace and guidance in knowing that I have my friends, family, and those I don't even know saying... yes you can.

I leave you with this song by Martina McBride that I dedicate to my husband who has "loved me through it".  While this journey is not one we ever thought we would be going through in the end our love will see us through the good and the bad.  So many obstacles have gotten in the way and it has been a bumpy ride.  There are still no guarantees that anything we have done has worked but there is one, our family.  It is as if Martina McBride wrote this song with me in mind, well almost... as you read the lyrics.. I am 39.....have 4 kids...they took more than they planned.... listen and you will be amazed.  Thank you Dani for sharing and being the friend you have been, you made us cry.  I wish they had different lyrics in part of this song that would say "THEY loved me through it" because so many of you have that are reading this, it will never be forgotten and will forever leave a lasting impression in our lives and hearts.  We are loved.

Martina McBride "I'm Gonna Love You Through It"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxIt70j_SPk

Locks of Love... Birthday Girl!

Today is Blayr's 7th Birthday and she did something that deserves its very own blog, in my view anyway!  As the new school year is just days away and we are busy checking off the list for each child, school immunizations, birth certificate copy for Bianca -..High School, gulp!- check. Junior High band auditions, new uniforms for my ever growing daughter Brooke - check. Lincoln wants a new backpack - check. Blayr needs a haircut and school supplies- check.....

As we were talking to Blayr about how much to cut off her hair a few days prior to her appointment she said not that much just a little.  This coming from my little girl that complains every morning when she has to comb her tangles out of her long hair and when mom or anyone else combs it, she tells us we are hurting her head.  So I told her that she could do something very special for kids with cancer and donate her hair to "locks of love" and get a really cute hair style in the process.  Her response was "mommy, kids don't get cancer!" it still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.  I told her, "yes they do and they have to wear wigs just like mommy and you can help with your pretty hair."   She said, "I'll think about it." In her very Blayr way.

The morning of her appointment Brian took her, I met them there and we had not discussed it again, I didn't want to make her do anything she didn't want to do.  I just asked her as we were waiting, if she wanted to donate her hair or just get a trim, she said "I'll donate it".  I was so proud of my big girl and the haircut was more emotional for me because of what it meant.  She will never know the impact of what she did that day, for me or for the child that it will help and yes, "Kids Do Get Cancer". 

I so wish we had a cure for ALL OF US!

Blayr!

Chrissy Hale at Joe James Salon awesome with kids cuts!

All Blayr's hair to help someone else!

New 'do! and a little swagger I might say!

Happy Birthday my Blayr Bear... so proud of you today!

Radiation, A new Countdown - 33..32..31..30

The motto "how time flies when your having fun" seems quite fitting at this moment.  I just read the last blog I posted and can't believe it was July 13, almost a month ago that you heard from me last.  Wow! So much has happened. 

Let's start off with something very fun, for those of you not connected via facebook the last blog entry ended with my last chemo day and also me telling you that my cousin had just had a baby and how I couldn't wait to meet her.  I left her name out of the blog, because my cousins and sister Sylvia were in on a very nice "prank" when the baby was born.  The told me a fake name, her dad sent me a fake text and all!  They were waiting until I could meet her in person the next day, to tell me what they had known all along....

It is with great honor that I share with all of you that have been following my journey, one of the most precious moments of this year, a picture that was taken seconds after I met my cousin, Lupita and David Moya's daughter.... Zeeny Leticia! I was left speechless and yes the tears started pouring. How special is that?



Zeeny Leticia Moya

Another exciting blessing that happened was a call from a dear friend who said "I have a surprise for you and your family.  Would you be available to go on the radio in a few days?"  Not one to shy away from the media, I said sure! A few days later Brian and I met Diana and Robert Blake at the radio station.  After reading my last blog, Diana Paredez had called her favorite radio station 96.1, told them our story and DJ Robert Blake, presented our family tickets to one of Texas largerst waterparks - Schlitterbahn on air! They were hoping that during my break between chemo and radiation, we could take the family to the park, so we did!  Again, we are so blessed, beyond words.


DJ Robert Blake, Diana Paredez

Before we went on our trip to Schlitterbahn, I had to make a trip to Dallas to see several doctors.  A check-up with my Breast Cancer Oncologist, Dr Osborne went well.  She did tell me that while my weight gain was typical due to the level of steroids that had been given to me during chemo, one thing she wished I would have done was exercise atleast five days a week during chemo to lessen the fatigue. Really? Yes, she was serious, I did tell her how I could barely function at times, but she said, "studies have shown that cancer patients who exercise atleast 30 minutes a day, lessen their fatigue by 50%".  I asked her if what we were doing was working, she replied "your cancer is microscopic at this point' and we have attacked it with everything we have to minimize the chances of it ever coming back from 30% to 1%"  We can't guarantee that it won't but we can minimize the chances and that is what we have done.  Atleast that is how I understood what was said.

We also saw a Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Cheek.  He concurred with the Radiation Oncologist in Midland, Dr. Corwin on the number of treatments needed for the amount of micro-vascular tissue that had remained and the additional lymph node under my rib cage that could not be surgically removed, at 33 treatments.  While this was more that the estimate than had been give to us initially, we will do what is necessary to get the job done - and they didn't ask for my opinion!  Now it is on to trying to minimize the side effects of radiation.

A visit to a Plastic Surgeon was next.  Dr Deuber was very kind but did let us know two things. 1. Re-construction surgery will not be able to be done for atleast 6 months after radiation is complete (not in the December time-line I had hoped for due to insurance and financial reasons) and 2. There are very limited number of surgeons who do the type of re-construction I was looking for, what is called a TRAM, and he was not one of them.  It is a 12-15 hour surgery and he did go over the pro's and con's.  His recommendation was to have spacers implanted prior to radiation, but in the end, after meeting with my surgeon and radiation oncologist I decided that it was in my best interest to proceed with the plan of taking care of the cancer first and dealing with the reconstruction at a later date.

I would like to Give a HUGE THANK YOU, to Martha Smart for all of the unconditional support she gave Brian and I during these visits.  Your entire family has been amazing, but it takes somone pretty special to sit with you and listen and play referee when needed!  We were also able to go to a Texas Rangers Game with Amanda and John B. while she and John S. babysat their new granddaughter!  After all of those doctors visits, a Baseball game, fireworks and a night of laughs was just what we needed and got :)!  It was also great to get to see my cousins Lucy & Julio and their triplets while enjoying dinner in the famous Dallas West End District. Family and friends - we couldn't do this without you.

Where were the kids?  Back at Mimi and Papoe's, where they love to be!  When they got there we skyped with them and they were all so excited to be at the ranch.  I asked them who was going to take care of mommy while they were all gone, and they quickly replied "all your facebook friends can"... so cute! They didn't get to stay for too long, but it was the last trip before school starts again.


Texas Rangers Game


We returned from our visits and then went on our mini vacation. San Antonio, New Braunfels, Austin, Dallas.  Schlitterbahn was AMAZING!  We all had a blast.  Brooke and I were talking about the trip just yesterday when she said, "mom, I haven't heard you laugh that much in a long time".  I guess I needed that more than I thought!  We went back to Dallas becasue I went to a lymphedema clinic at Baylor that Dr. Cheek wanted me to attend before I started radiation.  Luckily the scheduling worked out and we were able to extend our vacation by a day and drive up to Dallas.  We were able to see more friends and cousins on that trip. Nate, Marco & Olivia Cunnigham and  Jesse & Jennifer Solano and their kids. Jennifer was a big help because she took the kids while we went to our appointment at Baylor.

The day after we returned from our trip I started radiation.  Last Wednesday, Aug 3.  I go in every weekday, one of their first appointments and am finished in about 20 minutes.  The actual radiaiton takes about 2 minutes but from the time I walk in to the time I walk out is about 20 minutes.  So if you are keeping track, 3 down, 30 more to go!  I have been told that the worst side effect is fatigue- AGAIN? It is not due to set in until 2 weeks into treatments, but I am taking Dr. Osborne's advice and have started walking 5 days a week.  We will see how this goes - 6 1/2 weeks to prove this theory.  Another side effect is the burning of the skin, I have purchased every cream from every store we walked into that is made for radiation.  And have started applying! 

We were able to go to Rock the Desert here in Midland this weekend.  "The Whosoevers" played one day and are pictured below.  We met the lead singer and guitar player in Nashville during Thanksgiving, Brian Welch, it was nice to see him again and get to introduce him to one of Midland's most well known eating establishments - Rosa's!  He now knows why people fly back with dozens of tortillas for my sister Angie :). Lincoln now wants an electric guitar and asks for one daily after watching them play.  He walks around playing his acoustical guitar all the time, I can't imagine what we would do with the sounds of an electric guitar of a four year old.


"The Whosoevers"

 I leave you with one last picture of me at Baylor Medical Center.  I had to wait for a copy of some records to be made so I walked into the chapel and sat and listened two of my favorite songs that have gotten me through this journey "Strong Enough and Surviors".  The hat that I am wearing say's "I Am Second" because that is where I get my strength and courage in knowing that I don't have to come first, He stands before me, guiding the way.  I just have to "go second", like Lincoln said. My faith is in knowing that He always has and will.

Chemotherapy---FINISHED!! TERMINADO!!

What began on Feb 28, finished today July 13, 2011!!! Chemotherapy. 16 total treatments. 4 that were beyond words and oh so hard.... and then there were 12 that were not as harsh but still difficult, even today.

Join me now, happy dance, happy dance "yipeeeeee!!!" as Blayr said.  She saw me pick up Lincoln and twirl him around and asked "is the cancer gone?" I said, "no not yet, but it will be soon and then mommy will be OK"  "yipeeeeeee" she said again!!!!!

One constant that has remained is my husband going with me to every treatment he could except for three in the beginning when he was away for baseball and I had very good "pinch runners" Martha Smart and Diana Paredez!  Brian sat beside me and would read his books, would walk with me, go get me lunch or drinks, blankets, whatever was asked.  The nurse commented today, "you came with your wife every time, that's rare."  Thank you Love!

He sat beside me and will continue to do so.

chemo meds, saving my life!

When this journey started on January 18, 2011 we thought it might be stage 0, as we progressed from the initial appt, to surgery, to our second opinion we found out that it was stage IIB, hence the aggressive treatments and now the radiation therapy that I will have to go through.  We did meet with the radiation oncologist here in Midland today and he has given us his recommendation of 33 treatments.  We will go to Baylor next week for a second opinion which had previously been scheduled.  The good news is I will get a three week break prior to starting radiation. Thank goodness!!

A picture on the last day! As usual the last patient also!

Watch out I might go crazy if I get my energy back for a week or two! Shopping, did I hear anyone say shopping? :) Hopefully we will get to squeeze in a weekend vacation for the kids' somewhere close.

My Infusion Nurses!! Took the best care of me and will for the next year to come!

\

Lincoln made me a Flower at school for my last chemo!

I leave you with mixed emotions, happy that Chemotherapy has ended, the side effects will no longer be there as they were.  My hair product purchases will once again commence!  Shampoo, Conditioner, Hairspray, Gel - Hello!!! :)  Although my morning time management routine will have to be tweaked a bit, but as you can see I have a few months before my hair gets to that point. Frustrated that the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be getting further from my sight every time I feel it is close.  I did know this fight wouldn't be easy. But that is OK, because I still have my little army of soldiers right behind me and I feel each and every one of you supporting my family and myself as we battle through this together.

Summer Fun, this weekend and 4 of my reasons for fighting!

My family had a very special blessing today, my cousins Lupita and David Moya welcomed their new baby girl into our world and crazy family!  Weighing in at 6lbs and 8 ozs! I believe her name is ........... :) Precious and adorable. Children are a blessing to us all! I can't wait to meet her.

Again, I THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU for all that you continue to do for every one of us, yesterday, today and tomorrow!

Love as always,
Leticia

3...2....1!!!!!!! Chemo Treatment left!!!

As I sit here and reflect on where I am today and where we were a year ago, about to embark on a really fun lifetime of memories with the family, celebrating the 4th of July with my parent's for a fun weekend.  Then later in the month getting to see Justin Bieber in Las Vegas then off to San Diego - that was last year. 

This year, well we all know where we are. Grateful and Thankful that we have this summer together.  Yet, with 100% disclosure, frustrated that I am confined to work and home.  I had promised my niece Sydney at Thanksgiving a trip to Las Vegas this weekend for her 21st birthday, she and I have been MORE that crazy to see Celine Dion and I said "that will be your present"... we will see her Syd... I promise, it may just have to be for my birthday instead of yours :)!  I still tear up when I think I didn't get to fulfill my promise to her. My sister so calmly told us both via skype the other day "you are right where you are supposed to be" ("for I know the plans I have for you" comes into my mind).  So many times we want to choose our paths but then they are chosen for us.

While I know that I only have two ONE chemo treatment left, the last three weeks have been so physically and emotionally difficult that even one is something that I don't quite look forward to at this point.  This may be the end of chemotherapy, but radiation therapy treatments begin right after and the count will start all over - again. 

At this time we only have been given an estimate of those treatments, 5 weeks- daily can you hear me say ughhhh - ok you can say it too, uggggg.......  After we meet with the doctors to establish everything, I will keep you updated - trust me, no one wants to know more than Brian and I how much more we have to face.  We meet with the Radiation Oncologist here in Midland next week and then go to Baylor the following week for appointmets with several Doctors there.

Physically, I have had some battles to face with this lovely 100+ degree daily weather that we are so fortunate to have in West Texas!  I wasn't aware of the fact that pushing myself at work and not drinking enough meant total dehydration when I got to chemo.  My blood pressure for two weeks of treatments was 70/40 when I got there, that was baseline....and on my ankle.  After you get a mastectomy as I did, you are recommended to not have your blood pressure taken in your arms in order to prevent lymphedema from occurring, as well as getting blood drawn or shots, nothing that would allow pressure or puncture wounds.  My weekly blood draws are so much fun in my left hand, we have one vein that we use.  I won't complain because I have seen many more patients that struggle much more than I do.

After that little dehydration hiccup, the kids' were great, we went to the store and picked out a little cooler to carry in my car, it was a joint decision - the hot pink one with the ribbon of course!  Brooke was the first one in line to pack it for me the first couple of days I went to work, my water bottles, FRS drinks (pure natural energy drinks Brian had researched for chemotherapy patients but are also promoted on ESPN :), my Detour Energy bars, Gatorade, and recently we added Coconut Water drinks.  So as I am "on the road again" I have everything I need.

We celebrated the 4th of July here in Midland, just at home, went to the Children's parade and then swimming, I was so tired after that I slept right through the fireworks.  The kids' understood and still had fun throughout the day. 

I owe a world of thanks to my Sister Sylvia for always being on stand bye this summer to help out with the kids' and take them when we need her to and have I mentioned her cooking???? Delicious beyond She has cooked many meals for us when we need them most, always asking what we want and when the kids' are with her she teaches 24/7 and let's them help.  Bianca baked a cake from scratch all by herself, the other day!  All for the love of TIA!

My apologies for the lack of posts this past month, it has been rough!  I can not tell you how much your love, support, continued messages, thoughts, prayers, phone calls, texts and everything else you all do for each one of us genuinely mean.

Fun at the Ranch!

His smile, oh his smile!

Brooke!

Blayr

Lincoln showing his pride!

Decorating the yard

Bianca

Waiting.....and waiting some more.

    Hello everyone-it is time for another post from Brian-Leticia's husband.  Everyone asks what the hardest part of the chemotherapy cycle is.  For Leticia, it is now the work-there is no doubt about that-for me-it is the waiting. Waiting to see if the chemo has done it's job is by far the most discouraging aspect of this whole process.  5 more chemo visits and then we will get to go back to Baylor Medical in Dallas to have a pet scan done to see if any of this has helped-waiting for at least 6 more weeks before we know any answers at all.  If it has, then what-the next step is radiation but for how long, we don't know, we are waiting to get the answer to that also.  If it has not worked-what then?  Too much time to sit and think about that-best left for after the testing while we are waiting anxiously for the answers to the pet scan. 
      The coaching life never fully takes time off but I have definitely slowed down since the end of our season.  Recruiting has taken a hold of most my hours but those hours can be spent in my office or at home on the phone until all hours of the night.  During the season, we are on the road so much that I didn't feel that I could do enough at home to make sure that Leticia had everything that she needed.  During this time frame, I know that I can help with anything that she needs day or night-I'm just not sure if it is enough.  The one thing that is still a constant factor that I can't do too much to help is her being tired.  She is stubborn-she will freely admit that!  This leads to her attacking her job at a pace equal to what she was doing before she started all of the treatments-she doesn't cut corners and I am afraid that at times it is physically wearing her down too far, but her work ethic will not let her do otherwise.  At least now I am able to be more help around the house and with the kids when they are not off playing cowboy at the ranch in New Mexico!  The positive of Leticia going back to work has put her in a better routine-which is good for a woman who needs to be on the go-making her rest is a little easier now that she knows what she will be doing each day and the routine helps us get through the waiting.  She also has her hair growing back in slowly but surely-some of the new hair is a very light color-she calls it blond-I'm not too sure of that!
   The journey continues and we sincerely appreciate all of the help from everyone-take care and we will talk to you soon.


Brian

"Workin' 9-5!".....

My dad taught me one thing working on the ranch all these years as he still does, you wake up early, go to work, always give it all you have and never give up.  My parents were immigrants from Mexico and worked to provide the best education for me so that I could always do my best.  School was relatively easy- until I got to Baylor, I don't think I got in trouble ;), being the baby I was pretty spoiled (still am, have never denied that fact), my older sisters will tell you they had the strict parents, birth order books have been written for such reasons! I say all this for one reason - as I have gone back to work, I have found that chemotherapy and work combined have been more difficult than I ever expected it to be.  I know many of you keep checking my blog for updates and I do want to update you good and bad.

This time I would say is a little on the tough side.  But, as I have been taught, I give it all I have and probably a little too much at times.  Brian told me to ease into things, that just isn't me- he should know better, I don't ease, I attack! It's 100% or nothing, atleast until my body shuts me down.  After my first day at work I came home and slept for 13 hours.  I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed seeing all of my old offices and getting to talk to everyone, it does bring some sense of "normal" back into my life, but when I come home, wow - my body reminds me that it has these chemicals running through them that are making every bone in my body ache.  After most days from work I feel like I have just finished the most intense full day cardio workout, I hug the kids',  crawl into bed do some last minute computer work and usually fall asleep for the night.  Brian will wake me so I can drink or snack on something and take my medications then it's off  to dreamland until the next day.  

My oncologist happened to walk into my chemo session last week since it was so late, he asked how work was going, I filled him in, he shook his head and said "seven more weeks?"  with a grim look, I said "yes" he said "you can do it".  I know I can, it's not easy, others have it much harder than I do and I have my army of supporters behind me cheering me on and my "happy box" that I look at and cards I read that offer me that unwaivering support when things are starting to look a little gloomy.  Somehow, someway it always turns around and a smile comes my way just at the right time and it is all due to each one of you out there reading this blog supporting me at this very minute - Thank you! Gracias!

I want to take a minute and ask for your support, thoughts and prayers for a dear friend and colleague of mine and her daughter.  Marsha Crook and daughter, Abbye Irons.  Abbye is a beautiful, talented, 24 year-old who was diagnosed with congestive heart failure this past November and is now at St Lukes Episcopal Hospital in Houston awaiting an LVAD heart pump implant and also has to be placed on the heart transplant list as part of the protocol for the implant.  Marsha is my immediate partner here in Midland with AstraZeneca and she and I have been through quite a bit this past year.  Marsha has the heart of gold, always bringing my kids' treats, taking them for ice cream, bringing me lunch during my chemo treatments , the family food, I could go on and on. I sent her a text one day that read "you are truly showing me what character, strength and poise through such adversity as a mother is", this was just two months ago when she lost her mother.  click here to visit Abbye's CaringBridge website and please feel free to leave her a message of encouragement.  Those little messages mean so much to us during these trying times.  Abbye will be in the hospital for quite some time, this is especially important to her.

Again, Thank you so much for always supporting not only me, but my loving husband, and adorable kids' who keep me smiling and keep smiling :) - Leticia, Brian, Bianca, Brooke, Blayr & Lincoln!!! Love to you all!

Concert.. End of Baseball.. End of School.. Back to Work.. oh my!

Concerts.. End of Baseball.. End of School.. Back to Work.. oh my! Are we tired yet?

So many things have happened and even when some minutes seem like hours, especially when you sit in that chair getting the chemo drugs put into you.  Then on the flip side other times I look at my watch and wonder what happened to the hours?  Because there is still so much that needs to be done and not enough time left.  Like Blayr who wants curly hair and Brooke and Bianca who want Blayr's straight hair.  We don't seem to be satisfied with what we have, whether, seconds, minutes, hours, straight or curly.

One thing that I do find very gratifying is the smiles.  The smiles of my children, my family, friends, and even complete strangers.  A smile can tell so many stories.  Months ago, Brooke came to me with a concert schedule of her favorite singer, Cody Simpson.  He is the up and coming new tween idol from Australia.  He was touring in the US and was going to be in Texas in May.  Although the date was not the best fit, being that he is from Australia, he is the FAVORITE singer at the time. :) I knew I would have to give up Mothers day, hmmm---- for them I thought, the smiles, OK (can you say sucker).

I bought the tickets and didn't tell them or Brian about it until a few weeks prior to the concert, not knowing how I would feel and knew we could re-sell the tickets if we needed to do so.  But when things looked good, we decided we could make a quick trip and even though it was a rough time for Brian, since it was in the midst of his playoff schedule a quick trip up and back to Dallas was made and the wow-they had a blast!!!  People were asking to take pictures of Lincoln, because he was dancing up a storm, Blayr and Bianca found a perfect spot to stand, side stage, you'll see a picture I took below and Brooke was front and center enjoying every moment.  The smiles, again... worth it for me!

Cody Simpson's #1 Fan's!!

Bianca and Blayr's view of Cody Simpson

As fun as the concert was for the children it was a hard day for Brian.  May 8th was the 4th anniversary of losing Brian's mom, Kathy to colon cancer.  She was Diagnosed just a year before she lost her battle. Watching me go through this has been especially hard on Brian, knowing what an ultimate outcome can be and has been for him.  Even though the doctors have told us otherwise, it is always a thought, what if this doesn't work.  We always want to honor those that fought the battle and didn't survive.  So when you see Brian or the kids' be sure to ask them how they are doing, I am the one that has that "c" thing in me but they live and breathe it daily just like me.

Before going to the concert we had the last home game series with the Falcon's and Lincoln finally got his wish that he had wanted all season.  To shave his hair just like all the other players!  I had been hesitant to let him and had told him he could after his birthday and for some reason the last game just presented itself as the time to do it, not planned or anything, just happened.  He was thrilled, especially when it was one of the players who actually did shave it in the dugout.

Lincoln and Mommy - TWINS!!

It is not hard to keep busy around here with four kids' schedules and my weekly chemo now, even though that is not as taxing on my body physically as the first round of chemo was, this weekly schedule is proving to be more demanding.  Having to go in for blood work and just sitting in the chair, ugghhh...  I have come to appreciate all of the nurses and staff at Allison Cancer Center.  They are so caring and kind but I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.  My new phrase recently has been, "I'm glad I was naive about what chemo really was going to do to me, because otherwise I might have thought about it for a minute rather than a nano second like I did!"  The major and most annoying side effect besides the fatigue and flu like symptoms is the dry skin, especially on my face!  If anyone knows of any tips, do share!

Lincoln getting his wish, to look like the "players"

We signed Blayr up for t-ball this spring, she has not made many of her games or practices due to my chemo schedule and Brian's games, but the season goes into mid June so hopefully she can go to a few more.  She doesn't mind.  She is just happy to get to go when she can.  She is so understanding and compassionate when it comes to having to give her reason's of mommy just doesn't feel good today.  Her coach is leading them in this picture and she is third, not hard to pick her out, since she is the tallest!  Maybe I tried to take on too much when I signed her up, but I just wanted some sense of normalcy for the children and for life not to revolve around me and my illness, I guess for me also.

Blayr's T-ball Team- She is the Tallest!

This picture is of Brooke's Field Day, she is participating in the tug-of-war.  I missed her running events but she was just happy that I was able to make it to even a little portion of her field day.  One more week of elementary school for Brooke and then it is off to Junior High.  I am so proud of the young lady she has become this year and her leadership and composure she has been able to develop through such adversity.

I don't have a picture of Bianca's end of the year banquet that was held on Friday evening, but she received the Most Improved in Reading award in her class.  She was so happy and all smiles she went to the front to get her certificate.  Talk about one teenager that is ready for school to be out for the summer!  She is counting down the days until she can sleep in and relax.

Well, baseball season ended for the Falcon's in San Antonio during the NCAA II Heartland Conference Tournament.  I was extremely sad to say goodbye to this year's team for obvious reasons and will dedicate a page of pictures just of that tournament that I took but the camera is not available so I'll have to wait on that one!  I cried for the first time when a season was over as a coaches wife.

My 16 week leave was up on May 19 and I had to return to work.  Was I up to it, I can honestly say 100% no, 80 % yes.  As Brian said "chemo is chemo".  My energy level is not at 100% therefore I am not 100%.  But policy states I have to work so, work it is.  There are 8 more weekly chemo treatments left then we will meet with a radiation oncologist to confirm the radiation schedule, which at this time is tentatively set for 5 weeks of daily radiation.  Will this be difficult. Yes.  Can it be done. Yes.  Has it been done. Yes.  Can I do it - ABSOLUTELY!

After my 1st day back at work - LOVE the HAT!
photographer: Lincoln :) hence the blurry....

I not only know I can do it, but I have ALL OF YOU THAT BELIEVE IN ME AND MY FAMILY! and are constantly cheering us on and thinking of us, praying for us, calling us - you name it - your doing it!

I post this last picture below because it was taken the weekend before I began my chemo treatments here in Midland.  If you don't recognize him, this is Grammy nominated, Matthew West!  He has been to Midland twice in the last two years and I have been fortunate enough to have been able to attend his concert both times, this last time was extra special because he was promoting his "Story of Your Life Tour" which has two songs that I play over and over and over and over! "Strong Enough" and "Survivors".  I have posted them on earlier blogs or you can go to matthewwest.com and learn more.  The first time I heard Strong Enough, it was just one day after I had heard from Dr. Madden.  Very few people knew what was going on and that one song has been my inspiration.  If you've never heard you will understand when you do and if you have you know why.  The song "survivors" is specific to cancer and Emily, Matthew's wife, was talking to my sister Angie about me and told her to tell me to listen to that song.  

Bianca, Brooke, Blayr and I were driving by the church where Matthew held his concert a few weeks ago and Bianca said, "that's where we saw Matthew, I cried when I heard him sing"  I didn't know she had cried, but now I do.  Listen to the songs and you will know why I know I will get through this.

Thank you Matthew & Emily for how you have helped so many just like me.

Matthew West wearing my pink band! Before his concert in Midland

Thank you, Thank you all! With so much love from all of us. 

    - Leticia, Brian, Bianca, Brooke, Blayr & Lincoln