Concert.. End of Baseball.. End of School.. Back to Work.. oh my!

Concerts.. End of Baseball.. End of School.. Back to Work.. oh my! Are we tired yet?

So many things have happened and even when some minutes seem like hours, especially when you sit in that chair getting the chemo drugs put into you.  Then on the flip side other times I look at my watch and wonder what happened to the hours?  Because there is still so much that needs to be done and not enough time left.  Like Blayr who wants curly hair and Brooke and Bianca who want Blayr's straight hair.  We don't seem to be satisfied with what we have, whether, seconds, minutes, hours, straight or curly.

One thing that I do find very gratifying is the smiles.  The smiles of my children, my family, friends, and even complete strangers.  A smile can tell so many stories.  Months ago, Brooke came to me with a concert schedule of her favorite singer, Cody Simpson.  He is the up and coming new tween idol from Australia.  He was touring in the US and was going to be in Texas in May.  Although the date was not the best fit, being that he is from Australia, he is the FAVORITE singer at the time. :) I knew I would have to give up Mothers day, hmmm---- for them I thought, the smiles, OK (can you say sucker).

I bought the tickets and didn't tell them or Brian about it until a few weeks prior to the concert, not knowing how I would feel and knew we could re-sell the tickets if we needed to do so.  But when things looked good, we decided we could make a quick trip and even though it was a rough time for Brian, since it was in the midst of his playoff schedule a quick trip up and back to Dallas was made and the wow-they had a blast!!!  People were asking to take pictures of Lincoln, because he was dancing up a storm, Blayr and Bianca found a perfect spot to stand, side stage, you'll see a picture I took below and Brooke was front and center enjoying every moment.  The smiles, again... worth it for me!

Cody Simpson's #1 Fan's!!

Bianca and Blayr's view of Cody Simpson

As fun as the concert was for the children it was a hard day for Brian.  May 8th was the 4th anniversary of losing Brian's mom, Kathy to colon cancer.  She was Diagnosed just a year before she lost her battle. Watching me go through this has been especially hard on Brian, knowing what an ultimate outcome can be and has been for him.  Even though the doctors have told us otherwise, it is always a thought, what if this doesn't work.  We always want to honor those that fought the battle and didn't survive.  So when you see Brian or the kids' be sure to ask them how they are doing, I am the one that has that "c" thing in me but they live and breathe it daily just like me.

Before going to the concert we had the last home game series with the Falcon's and Lincoln finally got his wish that he had wanted all season.  To shave his hair just like all the other players!  I had been hesitant to let him and had told him he could after his birthday and for some reason the last game just presented itself as the time to do it, not planned or anything, just happened.  He was thrilled, especially when it was one of the players who actually did shave it in the dugout.

Lincoln and Mommy - TWINS!!

It is not hard to keep busy around here with four kids' schedules and my weekly chemo now, even though that is not as taxing on my body physically as the first round of chemo was, this weekly schedule is proving to be more demanding.  Having to go in for blood work and just sitting in the chair, ugghhh...  I have come to appreciate all of the nurses and staff at Allison Cancer Center.  They are so caring and kind but I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.  My new phrase recently has been, "I'm glad I was naive about what chemo really was going to do to me, because otherwise I might have thought about it for a minute rather than a nano second like I did!"  The major and most annoying side effect besides the fatigue and flu like symptoms is the dry skin, especially on my face!  If anyone knows of any tips, do share!

Lincoln getting his wish, to look like the "players"

We signed Blayr up for t-ball this spring, she has not made many of her games or practices due to my chemo schedule and Brian's games, but the season goes into mid June so hopefully she can go to a few more.  She doesn't mind.  She is just happy to get to go when she can.  She is so understanding and compassionate when it comes to having to give her reason's of mommy just doesn't feel good today.  Her coach is leading them in this picture and she is third, not hard to pick her out, since she is the tallest!  Maybe I tried to take on too much when I signed her up, but I just wanted some sense of normalcy for the children and for life not to revolve around me and my illness, I guess for me also.

Blayr's T-ball Team- She is the Tallest!

This picture is of Brooke's Field Day, she is participating in the tug-of-war.  I missed her running events but she was just happy that I was able to make it to even a little portion of her field day.  One more week of elementary school for Brooke and then it is off to Junior High.  I am so proud of the young lady she has become this year and her leadership and composure she has been able to develop through such adversity.

I don't have a picture of Bianca's end of the year banquet that was held on Friday evening, but she received the Most Improved in Reading award in her class.  She was so happy and all smiles she went to the front to get her certificate.  Talk about one teenager that is ready for school to be out for the summer!  She is counting down the days until she can sleep in and relax.

Well, baseball season ended for the Falcon's in San Antonio during the NCAA II Heartland Conference Tournament.  I was extremely sad to say goodbye to this year's team for obvious reasons and will dedicate a page of pictures just of that tournament that I took but the camera is not available so I'll have to wait on that one!  I cried for the first time when a season was over as a coaches wife.

My 16 week leave was up on May 19 and I had to return to work.  Was I up to it, I can honestly say 100% no, 80 % yes.  As Brian said "chemo is chemo".  My energy level is not at 100% therefore I am not 100%.  But policy states I have to work so, work it is.  There are 8 more weekly chemo treatments left then we will meet with a radiation oncologist to confirm the radiation schedule, which at this time is tentatively set for 5 weeks of daily radiation.  Will this be difficult. Yes.  Can it be done. Yes.  Has it been done. Yes.  Can I do it - ABSOLUTELY!

After my 1st day back at work - LOVE the HAT!
photographer: Lincoln :) hence the blurry....

I not only know I can do it, but I have ALL OF YOU THAT BELIEVE IN ME AND MY FAMILY! and are constantly cheering us on and thinking of us, praying for us, calling us - you name it - your doing it!

I post this last picture below because it was taken the weekend before I began my chemo treatments here in Midland.  If you don't recognize him, this is Grammy nominated, Matthew West!  He has been to Midland twice in the last two years and I have been fortunate enough to have been able to attend his concert both times, this last time was extra special because he was promoting his "Story of Your Life Tour" which has two songs that I play over and over and over and over! "Strong Enough" and "Survivors".  I have posted them on earlier blogs or you can go to matthewwest.com and learn more.  The first time I heard Strong Enough, it was just one day after I had heard from Dr. Madden.  Very few people knew what was going on and that one song has been my inspiration.  If you've never heard you will understand when you do and if you have you know why.  The song "survivors" is specific to cancer and Emily, Matthew's wife, was talking to my sister Angie about me and told her to tell me to listen to that song.  

Bianca, Brooke, Blayr and I were driving by the church where Matthew held his concert a few weeks ago and Bianca said, "that's where we saw Matthew, I cried when I heard him sing"  I didn't know she had cried, but now I do.  Listen to the songs and you will know why I know I will get through this.

Thank you Matthew & Emily for how you have helped so many just like me.

Matthew West wearing my pink band! Before his concert in Midland

Thank you, Thank you all! With so much love from all of us. 

    - Leticia, Brian, Bianca, Brooke, Blayr & Lincoln

What a T-Shirt will do!

As we all prepare this weekend to celebrate our mother's, in our baseball family it is also the last home series, the last time some of these special young men will ever step foot on the UTPB baseball field as a collegiate player and it is my last chance to say Thank You!  We have always been able to have fundraisers throughout the year but this year, due to my battle, that just didn't happen and the fundraisers are for little things like new t-shirts, uniforms, equipment for the team, etc. But since they had done so much for me I wanted to do just something minuscule for them.

We took this picture a couple of weeks ago! Our second family.

I contacted the vendor we have used in the past, Visual Promotions click here explained the situation and they gave me a great deal and as you can see I love their art work!  As I talked to the players yesterday I told them every time they wear this shirt and see the little ribbon, they can remember they started the battle with me and kept me going!  I cried, they hugged me but most of all - THEY SMILED... and that gets me through so much.

Enjoy the pictures and
                THANK YOU 2011 UTPB BASEBALL FALCONS!!!

Give me a minute......I'm wiping away the tears!

After 8 Hours of playing a double-header they are still smiling with me!

Honored, Humbled, and Hope!

So much to share since my last blog entry and as Brooke told me two days ago, it's time to update your blog mom" and then she proceeded to tell me last night as she was looking at my lab report I received yesterday that had my age on top of it, in a high pitched amazement voice "Mom, your in your 30's!!!, I just turned and gave her the "look" and she said, WOW I thought you were like 50 or something!!" Really, do I look that bad? Nothing like a 12 year-old to keep you young at heart!

I was able to meet with my former AstraZeneca partner when I started with the company, two weeks ago for dinner, Kristi Allison.  She and her husband Cade (another former Odessa College and Texas Tech baseball player who Brian coached against while he was in Trinidad, CO- small world) met us, not just for friendship reasons but to give us something very unexpected.  At the last AstraZeneca regional meeting, I had been honored by management where they showed my video, of which some of you have seen and others have not, where I shared that I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  I have not been able to convert it to HTML format in order to post it on this website, so if anyone out there can help....., anyway, Kristi took it upon herself to talk to people about her connection to me and how I was doing and they all raised money to help our family out during this time.  Brian and I were NOT expecting this humbling and generous donation that came our way.  I cried and hugged her and said thank you, thank you, thank you!!  We continue to be so blessed by so many that we don't even know, it is just breathtaking.

We were able to have a great Easter celebration with my mom and dad coming back to bring Lincoln and spending a few days with us.  We sure do miss him when he is gone, but the most important thing for me is for him to spend that quality time with his grandparents.  My grandparents were always thousands of miles away in Mexico and I never got to really know them except for a visit once a year for a few days.  I just never got that "bonding" experience with them. Therefore, it has been my goal to have all four of my kids', before they reach school age to spend as much time with my mom and dad as they can - doing what grandparents should do - spoil away!! And they have done just that with each one of them.  As with Brian's mom who was taken from us so suddenly to cancer just four years ago, we never know when that time will come and they will no longer be with us, so I implore all of you - either as a parent or as a grandparent, cherish your time and don't be selfish with your time, on either part. I don't think anyone is asking for expensive things, just unconditional love and time, whether a trip to the park, a dollar store run, a trip to get an ice cream just you and them, sit down and read a book anything that say's this is MY TIME WITH YOU! Let them go by themselves, it's good for all, the memories are indescribable.  No excuses for those long distances anymore, we LOVE SKYPE!!  or Tango on the phone, you can talk and see each other for free anytime!

Easter 2011

I practiced for my first pitches at Howard College Baseball and Softball Breast Cancer Awareness Day on April 30th! A total of 4 coaches were involved in my training, two softball and two baseball (one was my husband!).  I needed this for two reasons.. 1) I want nothing but the best 2) I needed HELP!! since I had NEVER touched a softball or baseball prior to this that I could recall, eeeeekkkk is right!  I played basketball, volleyball, track, and was a cheerleader from elementary age through high school in my hometown, but that was the extent.  As a spectator, I am just that a spectator!!  I had never really watched a game, been to them for fun, to eat and enjoy the crowd until I met Brian and he started teaching me the fundamentals 10 years ago, he still teaches me everyday!  Well here it is a video of my first Softball pitch..... Can't get it to upload from utube. will try later.....

First Hawk Baseball Pitch! Tears were rolling!

This is a link of some pictures my sister took at the Howard College Breast Cancer Awareness Day on April 30, 2011!  Hope it works. HAWKS The Day was AMAZING!! I was NOT prepared for how emotional it would be for me - at all! The baseball pitch was first and I was able to see some of the local healthcare providers come out to support me and talk to the President of the College, Dr. Sparks, I knew again, I wasn't just a rep. and two Dr. Sparks said "welcome to our family", which meant the world to me.  As I walked out to the mound, I knew I wasn't doing this just for me but for everyone that supported me, my family, my friends, these players that didn't even know me but more importantly as they were reading about me through the loudspeaker that's when the tears started rolling because I wasn't just a coaches wife anymore - we were ALL a TEAM battling this together.

Pep Talk to the Team prior to the game!

Reflecting and Resting!

During these last two weeks I have officially had 2 of my 12 treatments of Taxol/Herceptin.  One last Wednesday and one yesterday.  Last Wednesday lasted 6 hours in the office but yesterday was only 2 1/2.  The first treatment caused some jittery feelings in my legs and a headache but we got some meds that took that away and put me to sleep through the entire treatment.  I was fine when I got home, energy was good, I had flu-like symptoms for a few days but just battled through them.  Yesterday I did not experience the jittery feelings and today has been more tiredness that last time, and the achiness has begun, just like you feel when you have the flu, which is a normal side-effect.  I am just optimistic that I will be fine since my return to work day is at the end of this month, with really no choices on my part if I want to keep my employment with AZ.  So I will do as I preach and just battle through it and do my best.  I have also started exercising, just here at home, 20-30 minutes a day, but I know exercise gives you energy and at this point that is what I need!  I know your thoughts and prayers will keep me going and so will my determination and hope for a cancer free report in August!.

I spoke to Baylor and I will go back to see them mid-july when I complete the 12 week round.  We will repeat the PET scan and then meet with a radiologist oncologist to determine the radiation schedule, which at this time is tentatively set for 5 weeks, daily.  I will also try to meet with a re-constructive surgeon at that same time.  That surgery we are hoping to do towards the end of December.