Control.

When people ask me, "how are you doing" I sometimes say "OK" or you know "this is one big roller coaster ride!" One day your up and the next day your down and sometimes it just seems one hour your up and the next your down.  Well, that is exactly how these past few weeks have gone.  As you can see I haven't posted anything for some time and I just haven't had the energy or when I have had the energy I have used it to go out and spend time with the kids'.

A couple of big things happened during the past two weeks that I want to share with everyone, first we have successfully completed my second of four of what I so eloquently call the "yucky" treatments! So we are 1/2 there - yea!!  My next treatment is scheduled for tomorrow 4/29 then we are 3/4 there!!  But as always the treatment of course did come with it's share of side effects, ugggggg......  We'll get to those later, first I want to share some of the happy news.

Brian, while knowing that we had a rough March travel road schedule, was able to accomplish something very special, he earned his 200th Career Coaching Win!!! Click here for the article from the Odessa American or click here for the article from the UTPB Baseball website.  The special part about this is that he didn't know I was keeping up with the number of wins, I had been since the end of last year because I had missed 100 and really wanted to celebrate 200 with him.  His assistant and just a few of the players knew what the game meant but he didn't and at the end of the game, they presented him with the game ball that had 200th win and cheered in the huddled - he was moved! Then he got the attached text from us, we didn't dare work on making the 200 until the 5th inning score update came in, then it was rush time!!!  Blayr was so excited, Lincoln was too, until it was time to take the picture and he couldn't hold the number he wanted and tore the 0 that Blayr had worked so hard to tape together - oh, the love of a brother and sister :)!

GO DADDY!!

Bianca also celebrated her 15th Birthday on the 17th of March and while we were not able to have a party for her due to my chemo schedule we are going to combine her party with Lincoln's in just a few weeks.  She did get an extra special present, what every teenager wants and needs these days, a cell phone!  It has been on her list since for about a year now, so excited doesn't even describe how her reaction when opening her present.

As for my reaction to the last chemo treatment, well it wasn't as bad as the first - thank goodness, but as with chemotherapy, the side effects - oh the side effects!  After trial and error I do believe we have the issue of the anti-nausea medicines under control.  Hopefully on round three we won't have to endure any of what we have had to in the past, let's just say I am ever so grateful every day that we have several options.

One realization that came about this last time was just how out of control I am with so many things, and for those of you that know me well, that is not me!  Since day 1, optimistic, positive and we're going to get through this have been my motto, never wavering from our decisions and always having such a calm comfort about everything.  I know who has been carrying me through this journey, that's why my strength is so absolute.  He Is In Control! 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9.

After four weeks of treatment, at times it just seemed that so many things were happening at such a monumental speed and out of my control.  The side effects of the medications, which we knew would happen, they did.  I was doing fine until the hair started coming out.  I took the suggestion of a friend and survivor herself and didn't let the hair control me but I controlled it.  But then that was when it hit me, an overwhelming sense of just how much had changed.  From my dietary restrictions, to not being able to go out like I had been able to, just in case you might run into some "germs" to the the many physical changes that are still occurring and will continue to do so-- no matter what I do to try to prevent them, the medicine that will cure me is in control, not me.

Needless to say, I had my time to reflect, cry and talk to several people who helped me through this time and I know that I had so many others sending positive thoughts and prayers my way on a daily basis and that, my family and friends - is what is getting me through this!  I just have to do what I do best and fight, with the help of all who have offered and especially with "His" help. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".

I will leave you with some notes about the kids' of course, and how we are all dealing with the "new look".  Bianca thought it was "cool" and couldn't wait to tell the baseball team, I loved how one of them handled the situation when she told him, he said "I know, and that's why we all shaved our heads, just for your mom". Brooke had a hard time with the fact that she was not with me when it happened, but we have talked quite a bit and I'm not sure if you got to see her comment: "Hi it's Brooke I just wanna say I am so proud of my mom. She is a brave and beautiful. She will always be my mom and nothing not even cancer will change her. She's doing ok if you wanna know.-Brooke .....March 21, 2011 7:42 PM"  She is now having a fun time getting tie my scarves and tells me which one's to wear or how to wear my wig, the girly-girl in her is fun!  Blayr, giggled when she saw me for the first time and was a very calming person to have around when Brooke was having a difficult time.  With hands out and both palms up, she would tell Brooke "you'll get used to it, you'll get used to it, it's ok", she may look like her dad, but I think she has some of her mommy's strength!  Then we come to Lincoln, oh my precious boy!  When he saw me for the first time he said "you look like a boy mom" just made us all laugh! He loves to take off my hats or scarves and just rub my head, I think it's funny- just waiting until he does it out in public when I'm not expecting it! The moment that still brings a chuckle every time I think about it was one of the first times I put my wig on, he ran in the room, stopped in awe and said "WOW MOMMY!! YOUR HAIR GROWS FAST!!!"

Papa & Nancy, A Big Iowa Help

As I told you in my last post Brian's Dad, Tom (aka Papa) and his wife Nancy came to lend a helping hand, all the way from Larchwood, Iowa!  They made the 19 hour drive and were able to divide it up and catch the Wichita, Kansas baseball series in the - brrrrrr... cold weather and then came to see what the Texas Tornadoes had in store for them. They had NO idea :)

Reinke-Kerkvliet Wedding 9.10.2011

Let's rewind a little first, our family grew back in September - as you can see - WOW!!  Who knew Papa would be feeding 26 people for the Holiday's or just a Cardinal baseball afternoon game.  I can see us walking into a restaurant, "table for 26 please" (and we're not even with the baseball team!) I bet we won't be fighting to pick up that check anymore, lol!  While many, many miles do keep us apart and those times of having us all together will probably be very seldom one fact will always remain, cue the music.... WE ARE FAMILY!!!!

Lincoln & Cousin Samantha performing their duties well.

Lincoln was Lincoln!

Brian's sister Bridget & her husband Mike; Brother Shane & his wife Michelle

Bianca & Brooke had the pleasure of serving punch

We Danced and Had Fun!

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Blayr had fun smiling and passing out leis

Those are just a few from the hundreds of pictures I could have shared  but hopefully you experienced a little of what we did.  Now back to our recent visit. Papa and Nancy were able to spend a total of 15 days with us and experience one chemo treatment.  Brian had an away trip during that time so Papa was able to learn what we now all comically call the "bus route" so they could help with the drop off and pick-up of the kids during school time.  Not only did they help out with that, but with meals along with fixing and cleaning everything in site. Talk about handy man and woman, well our neighbors wanted to hire them at one point!  Don't worry, it wasn't all work and no play, they did get to enjoy the 80+ degree weather on most days and get several days of golf in, even Brian joined in on the fun after a three year break.  He says he shot an 89, not sure if that is good, since I'm not a golf player, but something tells me that's OK. Two home baseball games were also part of the trip, not bad considering snow was still on the ground upon their return.

Needless to say a big Texas THANK YOU is due to Papa and Nancy for all of their help, all the way from Iowa!

"Aunt Ticia...Tia Lety"

Bianca.14, Lincoln.3, Brooke.12, Blayr.6

My dreams for my children are simple; to have a fulfilling life and whatever they choose to do, they always do to their best ability never compromising integrity and happiness.



Sydney



These dreams didn't just begin to flourish when I had my own children, but when I was able to be an Aunt. That to me was when the first real fun began and now I get to tell you about my niece and nephews who have recently been to visit me.  I told you in my last blog that I would give an update on our weekend and we had a special visitor arrive on Saturday, our niece Sydney! Sydney (20) is currently attending Lee University in Cleveland, TN, is just as beautiful as she can be, both inside and out (no bias at all ;). We were so giddy with excitement that her cousins had a countdown calendar anticipating her arrival.  Let's just say, when Sydney walks in the room - it's over, we all are knocked down on the hierarchy list. :)

Sydney was the last to get to visit, because her brothers Chris (25) and Brad (23) had been here right after my surgery. Andy (22) lives in Odessa and has been a constant help.  His brothers, Adrian (18) and Abraham (14 & 6'1") had just made a visit the first part of January, prior to my diagnosis, but I still feel that I was able get a special visit from each one of them.  Even though they are all "grown up" (insert a clearing of the throat! ok young adults) I will always be their Aunt Ticia or Tia Lety and ever so proud, dreaming the same dreams for them.

The kids' were beyond words to see their cousin, she got to play with them, took them to the park.  She got to spend time with them while I went to a parenting conference sponsored by country artists, Zac Brown, hosted by Bianca's school.  It was extremely informative by Dr. Robert Melillo. I did not participate, just listened and watched.  Monday we went and ate with Brooke at her school and then I was able to go to a Junior High workshop for Brooke. I had asked Sydney to take pictures of the kids' for me while she was here and when I saw the first one above today that she e-mailed me, I just cried! She captured so much for me in that one picture.

Wednesday just seemed to get here before it should.  But Sydney had one last item on her checklist to help me with.  Remember Lincoln being left out of the Justin Bieber concert?  Well, no more, he got his very own "concert" and Sydney got to take him!!!!  He was so excited, we didn't tell him until we were in the car on the way and to a three year-old- concert-movie, 3-D, it's all the same!!!  We talked up the fact that he was going to get to go and his sister's weren't because they were in school.  I remember being in the Rosa's drive-thru line (quick tortilla run for my sister angie) and Lincoln said "hurry up car's Justin Bieber might leave" (LOL) He LOVED it!! (the ticket price was a touch less expensive at Hollywood Theatre, hmmmmm)

When I left the theatre I received a text letting me know that I had been honored at a regional conference meeting in San Antonio.  I knew it was coming, because they had asked my permission to use my video I had sent out originally, letting everyone know of my Cancer. Knowing that my counterparts had all just seen the video and hundreds of other people within AstraZeneca, that I didn't even know, well again, it just brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.  Knowing that we would be receiving this silent support from countless now.  Thank you.

It was off to the airport then and and endless big hug goodbye.

Thursday came and that meant Brian had to leave for his weekend series in Arkansas, another fun bus road trip!  They get to make a stop in Lawton, Oklahoma Sunday to play one game before they come home and play again on Wednesday, leave on Thursday for Guymon, Oklahoma then it's home for awhile!!!! By the way - I do have my next treatment on Tuesday to squeeze in here! and Bianca's birthday is Thurday - 15! Thankfully I can rest in the complexes of this world that didn't stop when my world did, everyone is being so helpful and pitching in just at the right times!

In the midst of Sydney's arrival we had a brief visit from my cousin Lupita from Pecos who brought her kids' but especially my goddaughter Zaylee with her, they just stayed a few hours but I got a hug and some smiles! We also had a big arrival from Iowa, Brian's Dad, Tom (Papa) and his wife Nancy came to help out for a few weeks, and wow have they helped (they had no idea)!!!!  They deserve a whole post to themself's, especially since I have pictures from their wedding in September and we can show you how our family grew.

How am I doing? OK, not good, not great just OK, some side effects crept up this week with mouth sores that have been no fun and made eating less fun, but those are almost gone.  Energy level has been up one day and then down the next, I'm sure due to my nutrional choices.  I drink my alloted amount of liquid and do my exercises daily, they always help and then just a few errands, that's my exercise for the day! Then it's back on the couch.  I told someone today about the good and not so good days it is just like being on a roller coaster - I guess I better hang on!

More to come, but for now I will give credit where credit is due: Photographer: Sydney M. Clawson!!

-Leticia

Help With Meals

I have had someone inquire about meals and how people could continue to bless the Reinke's. 

Here's is the link again.  If you'd like to find other ways to help...look on the right hand column for older posts entitled "How you can help".

But, again...click here for the meal link.

And click here to view an older blog with additional ways to help.

~Stephanie

Feeling Soooo much Better!!

I just realized that it had been several days since our last post and how awesome was my husband? I just didn't have the energy to post, as you saw, and Stephanie was busy with her two little one's,so I told Brian, people need to hear from you.  He didn't hesitate and brought me to tears, yet again. Thank you Love.

On to how I am doing - exceptionally better!  We found out that the anti-nausea medications they had given me was the cause of the major headaches which pretty much had me asleep for several days.  Once I stopped taking the medication, I felt like my normal self.  It was amazing.  I was so thankful that we were able to figure out what it was and that I was able to have a good weekend.

I will talk about our weekend in the next post, but I wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know that I am doing well!

This is a picture from our summer vacation when we were able to take the girls' to see JUSTIN BIEBER in concert in Las Vegas! Brian had secretly arranged a limousine ride to the concert for us and Lincoln is not smiling because he didn't get a ticket :(  He is hanging on hoping that if he doesn't let go I'll take him to the concert. As you can tell the girls' were all smiles, they had the night of their life!  So glad we were able to do that with them this summer.  Until next time, Leticia

Tired........and exhausted!

     Hi there! This post is brought to you by Leticia's husband, Brian.  This is my first post on the blog so I hope that I can do it justice.  I have been in the epicenter of everything that has been going on with my wife and I'm not sure that I have taken the time to step back and gather my thoughts or separated myself from the whole process long enough to put words to what I have seen or how I have reacted to Leticia's battle.  I love the blog and feel that now it is my turn to contribute.
     There have been many hard days so far, but for me, Thursday has been right up there at the top of the miserable scale.  Leticia is just getting past the 48 hour mark from chemotherapy and I was on the road on my way to Wichita, KS for our weekend baseball series.  I have tried to ebb the feeling of helplessness by researching breast cancer and the ensuing chemo.  I am an avid reader and the process of becoming knowledgeable about any subject that my wife is dealing with is my only recourse and for those few moments when I am researching, I don't think about how little that I can do to help.  Traveling to a city 9 hours away only compounds the inability of me to help since I can't even be there to get her medicine or make sure that she is drinking enough to stay hydrated.
     A constant theme of this blog has been the effort that my baseball team has made in understanding what we are going through.  They continually amaze me at the support that they show our family.  From shaving their heads to buying the pink bat for Leticia and autographing it, they have been my strength on many days.  I preach to them that as a team, we are a family and they have taken that to include Leticia and the kids to the extreme in the most positive way imaginable.  They are too young to fully understand the effect that they are having on our family, especially the effect that they have on me.  Everyone needs to draw strength from somewhere and I am constantly obtaining strength from them.  I truly believe that the things that we teach baseball players are not simply for the game of baseball, but for the rest of their life.  I have come to find out that they are pretty good teachers also!  Well-enough about me-let's get you updated on Leticia and our first experience with her chemotherapy.

     Tuesday:  Effects of the chemo are never a certainty and the nurse who administered Leticia's dose told her that she may not sleep because one of the drugs has a tendency to do that.  A sleeping pill seems to have taken care of that problem for the first evening.  Leticia fell asleep at 10:30 that night, slept through her 2:00 am alarm for her anti-nausea meds and slept until 9:15 the next morning.

     Wednesday:  I believe that she willed herself out of bed so that she didn't get dehydrated.  Just by looking at her, you could tell that she could have kept sleeping but she knew she had to drink something.  The great news was that she did not have a headache-too bad that didn't last much longer. Leticia had to go back to the doctor's office for a "neulasta" shot at 1:00.  This shot will help fight off infection while increasing her bone marrow white blood cell count.  I called at 4:00 to see how the shot went and she was just getting home from the doctor's office-not a good sign.  Three hours out of the house the day after your first chemo session must seem like an eternity. I have no idea how anyone going through chemo can function at a high level.                        
 ---From Leticia: "I don't feel like eating but know that I need to. We bought some 'ensure' and maybe I will have one of those. I'm not supposed to be on of 'those' people who need that stuff, but I am, so I will just get it over with. These are the things that are really getting to me lately."
     When I returned home, she was sleeping-thankfully.  Throughout the evening, she would get up to eat, drink, and take her meds, then back to bed.  She is extremely tired and the headaches have started, I don't think we had any idea that the headaches would be so extreme-probably a trade off for the limited amount of nausea so far.  I didn't grasp the severity of how much chemo took out of you, the exhaustion is to a level that I could not have imagined.  She can hit the pillow and be out for hours.  I am extremely tentative to move her position if she falls asleep with her head in an unnatural position, I really don't want to do anything to make her wake up.  We have a new problem creeping into the picture, her surgery site is starting to hurt.

      Thursday:  6:00 am: I really didn't think it could get worse in the headache area, but this morning I was taken aback at the severity of it and how it is beating her down. As I am getting ready to go on my road trip, I can see that things are not good and not going to get better this morning.  The surgery area is extremely stiff this morning and is adding increased pressure and pain to her body.  She thinks the headache is partially from some dehydration (could be) and from her being a lazy bum (really?????).  I think she does too much-but what do I know?  She has been getting her arm exercises in, but just that drains her energy out in moments.  ----From Leticia: "Just realized I haven't showered since Tuesday-better do that, oh but the energy it might take!" At least it sounds like she is a little more realistic right now.  9:00 pm:  I got to talk with my wife 4 different times today-still not enough.  I have a job to do but it doesn't make it any easier being away from her.  Of course the last time I called, she had already fallen asleep-and I woke her up-sorry Love.
      I cannot possibly thank everyone enough who has helped, is helping, or will help in the future.  One of the hardest things to do is accept all of the help and support gracefully-I know that sounds weird but it is the truth.  I am working on that chink in my armor and will continue to do so, just as I know that we still need all the love and prayers that we can get!
Til next time-Brian

Chemo As Begun

Leticia was scheduled to begin chemotherapy at 11am on Monday, March 1st.


She says the plan was to "ZAP" her because she's so young and healthy.  (insert a little little nod, wink and walk with swagger) lol!  The treatment will be 1x every 2 weeks for four treatments.  Then, she will shift to once a week for 12 weeks. 


This should take her to around July 4th.  Then, she will begin radiation once a day for an estimated 5 weeks combined with 3 weeks of hormonal therapy to complete an entire year.


She treatment plan is the best case scenario and assuming no infections or complications. That would delay the treatment plan.  Which is why is it VITAL that she not be exposed to infectious people.  IF she realizes she has been exposed she will immediately call her doctor and be prescribed a very aggressive anti-biotic.


I share this because it's important that those coming to her aid through this time keep this in mind.  It's  her fight...but we have to give her the tools to do it.


Yesterday, she was in an informational class waiting to be called in for chemo.  She says she was called early and that was a blessing because it didn't give her a time to get apprehensive about going in.


It two 2 hours and 10 minutes and she says it was easier than she expected.  She says it was essentially IV fluids inserted into her chemo port.  She noted the staff was very caring.


Ironically enough she knew someone in there going through chemo...another baseball connection.  That network is really amazing sometimes!


She arrived home just before 1pm yesterday and has been told the 48 hours after chemo are most critical to stay hydrated.  Specifically 12 glasses of 12 ounces of fluid to wash out everything.  There is a strong possibility she will be sick as she flushes the toxins out of her body. 


A small indicator of how intense the chemo is??  She can't wash her clothes with anyone else's and has to wash them twice.    She says she keeps thinking about how I told her this is a path to turning 40 CANCER-FREE! :)


She says Brian is holding her up, but she's also drawing strength from everyone else she feels who is doing the same.


In the early hours after she got home she has been a little nauseous but is trying to stay ahead of it.  She says she has a very bad headache and is trying to sleep to address that, as well as drink ...96 ounces of Pedialyte. Apparently, it's not just for kids.  But, kids at heart!


Thanks for your well wishes.  Updates to come!