Day full of Celebrations, Mixed Emotions, next.. Rest!

The long awaited day finally arrived, September 16th.  As I woke up yesterday morning and prepared myself to go for my last radiation treatment, so many emotions were going through my head. Happy beyond belief that I would no longer have to wake up and go to any more of these rough treatments, relieved that the toughest part of a journey I never imagined I would ever travel would soon be over, yet still concerned that we won't have any final results until December.  The latter will just have to be put as everything else has, in His Hands and with all of my warriors.  I have no doubt they will keep all thoughts and prayers coming my way until that day when we get the report that I am truly Cancer Free.  Today one thing is known, I DID SURVIVE THIS MUCH - I AM A SURVIVOR!

A Day full of Celebrations was my title because it was, September 15th was Brooke's 13th Birthday!  The sweet spirited child that she is, she didn't want a birthday party, just a brisket dinner with her family.  We had a dinner and then went to her open house, and were saving her present for the weekend so she could go to the mall and buy a pair of shoes she wanted.  When she walked home from school and saw all of the pink ribbons outside yesterday, I happened to be standing in the yard, she just ran up to me and we hugged and started crying, she told me "mom I got the best birthday present ever today because your done".  She's grown up more than she deserved this past year and was my rock at times that I felt like crumbling.  Just the other day, completely exhausted, I had gotten home from work and just fell fast asleep, she finally came in the bedroom with a bottle of water and said "mom you need to drink you have to keep hydrated and please take your blazer and shoes off".  As I followed her orders still half asleep and I told her I loved her, she covered me up and walked out of the room.  That my friends and family, happened several times.

Brooke's 13th Birthday!!!

Yesterday was also my mom and dad's 52nd Wedding Anniversary!  My mom has been here helping us and Papoe came to pick her up but it was a surprise as he rang the doorbell yesterday evening.  I must admit, Mimi was a little upset during the day, she felt that my dad had forgotten their special day and I had to keep the surprise in and just tell her I was sorry.  He hasn't lost his touch, even after 52 years, he called her on her cell and was telling her about his day and rang the doorbell to our house, I told her it was my sister at the door she walked up and was still talking to him and there he was! So adorable!!!  (I didn't even prep him on that one)  I told him "dad you were supposed to bring flowers", he said "there weren't any growing on the side of the road". Oh papoe!

Lupe & Tomas Gonzalez 52 years, 9/16/2011

Brian and I were able to go to dinner and share in another homecoming celebration for our some very special friends.  My co-worker Marsha Crook was able to bring her daughter home yesterday, Abbye Irons! Prayers have been answered all around.  Abbye has been fighting her battle with her Heart surgery but is on her way to recovery and we welcomed her home yesterday after several months in Houston.  It is Midland's turn to help her heal!  I am so blessed to be able to work directly with Marsha and also get to know her daughters and husband.  You always hear that your job is so much better if you like who you work with, well, I can't do much better than this!!

Marsha!

I will be taking the next two weeks off from work.  After talking to my Radiation Oncologist on Thursday and looking at my blood count, he asked me if there was any way I could take some time off.  The effects of radiation are cumulative and at this point physically I have reached the bottom and need to let my body heal as much as possible.  That burning that I had told you had not happened to me, well, it has now.  It was as if the last week was a super duper zapper of a week!  While I will miss seeing my offices and friends on a daily basis, rest is what I need.  My family will be taking great care of me and might even whisk me away to some cool weather place to enjoy some mountain peace, with beaches, waterfalls and rivers.

My family with Mimi! 

It's over! Time to let it go.....

Courage - Strength - Faith = Cancer Free

They had fun saying Mommy's finished, goodbye Cancer!

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!

The celebrations still aren't over, believe it or not!  One more for the weekend, but we did them all in one day!  Brian's 41st birthday is Monday 9/19 and look at his present below!!  This is something he has always wanted and was one of those opportunities and another blessing that came about by one of our great friends.   No, it's not free! Just one of those, at the right place, at the right time moments... then Happy Birthday Brian!

Even though my treatments are over, my blog won't be.  I will still be updating you about our continued journeys every couple of weeks.  We will have a PET scan in December to determine whether all of this worked.  I still get herceptin treatments every 3 weeks until April and my reconstructive surgery is tentatively scheduled for next summer.  For now, the hardest part is OVER!  Time to heal and my 40th birthday is just around the corner.  Talk about a time and reason to celebrate.  October 24th!!!!  

I have said this before, but this would not have been as easy to do - even as difficult as it was, without all of your support, it was what made this journey less hectic!  We have all enjoyed every meal, the gift cards are still being used and are treasured items in our house.  Please know that not one single item went unnoticed or unappreciated during this time, from the paper plates to..the pink bands, flowers, gifts galore, t-shirts, crosses, flight gift cards, love offerings, brisket fundraiser, wig, candles, head scarves, pink bat, every single card, texts, voicemails, facebook posts, messages, blog messages, the visits, I could go on and on......everything has been printed and has been placed in my "happy box" for those times that aren't so happy and those times that we need to say "we are blessed" we were by you.  Now it is time to pay it forward. 

Until my next blog entry, I leave you with a million Thank you's, hugs from cyberworld and this quote that was left on my porch yesterday by a dear friend....

Sometimes He calms the storm

With a whispered "Peace be still-"

He can settle any sea

But it doesn't mean He will.

Sometimes He holds us close

And lets the wind and waves go wild..

Sometimes He Calms the storm,

And other times He calms His child.

written by Wood &Stokes

"I'm Gonna Love You Through It" - Martina McBride

Bottom of the 9th!

The last stretch, The final quarter, however you word it one simple fact remains... ALMOST FINISHED.  I have not kept count when it has come to radiation, because there were so many.  I just knew that every Monday-Friday I had to be there bright and early and 33 was the magic number.  September 19 would be the final day, we have talked about doubling up one day next week so that I can finish on Sept 16.  The fatigue has been what they said it would be, difficult and progressively worse with each treatment.  Which has made my daily lifestyle challenging and work equally so.  I just remain ever so thankful that since January my support system has been so solid that everything has been tended to at home.  My mother has been able to come and stay with us to help with meals and housework which has made everyone very happy.  There is just something about having Mimi's cooking that make's everything OK!  When Mimi's here we also get to see more of my sister and my Aunt and Uncle which is nice for all of us!  Family, enough said.

Radiation effects on my skin have not been as difficult as I had read or heard they were with others, yea!.  I have experienced some swelling, tightness and darkening in the area that is being treated, but not the red, burning, type irritation that they warned about occurring.  Applying the creams we purchased, wearing loose clothing as instructed, and having to make adjustments such as not to not hang my bags over my right shoulder, I do believe have all helped contribute to making this go a little easier than expected.  Thank goodness!  Enough about me.

The kids have all gotten adjusted to going back to school and back to our daily routines.  Bianca is in High School at Midland High this year and just loves being a Bulldog!  She even made the front page of the Midland Reporter Telegram on August 31st with the picture below.  We were so proud!!

Bianca Rendon and Alexis Carrillo fold shirts Tuesday in the Dawg House spirit shop at Midland High. Students in the special needs classes at MHS man and run the shop before and during lunch at school. Photo by Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Read more: MHS Dawg House - Mywesttexas.com: Home http://www.mywesttexas.com/image_62cfbeb3-e3eb-5d61-b657-71913408c865.html#ixzz1XfobxGcb 
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

Brooke is in 7th grade at Goddard Junior High and adjusting.  The first week was a little difficult for all of us as we learned our way around such a large system.  She did not make the volleyball team, even at 5'7"!
We were under the impression that if you signed up for athletics you were on the volleyball team and were not aware until the week prior to school beginning that tryouts would be held for the team.  (this is where I get upset at being sick and blame myself for not being able to be more informed during the summer or last spring)  Little did we know that she would be trying out against 120 other girls for 24 spots and the majority of the girls had attended volleyball camps, etc.  I think we have a few numbers to coaches/players that would have been willing to work with her over the summer, but we didn't know.  Lesson learned.  She wants to try out for the basketball team, we might know a few coaches there also.  She is in band and all Pre-AP courses, loving every minute of it, although, Bianca and Lincoln didn't love the first time she had to practice her clarinet, that was funny!

Blayr is just dominating second grade.  I was not able to drop her off that day but it didnt' really matter.  Brian said she didn't even turn around and say goodbye to him, she was so excited to see her teacher, Ms Xiong!  Lincoln is loving his pre-k class with Ms. Marcia as his teacher at Grace Lutheran ECP.  He is so excited that he knows 2 "Marsha's" his teacher and the one ''I work with that takes him for ice cream'' he told me! He divides his time between Grace Lutheran and Little Red Wagon and gets the best of both worlds!

I was able to get my first "trim" two weeks ago!! Mac Tobar with Maximus Hair Salon always makes be feel great when I leave, Thank you Mac!  It was so nice to feel normal and like a lady if just for a little while.  Lincoln did ask me the other day "mommy when are you getting your girly hair back?"  I just laughed and said it will be awhile and thought to myself, I guess he is tired of my boy look!  I was also asked by the Allison Cancer Center to be one of the Breast Cancer Survivor Models during the 5th Annual Laura W. Bush Institute for Women's Health Breast Cancer Awareness Luncheon on October 11th. What a fun honor.

We continue to be blessed on a daily basis.  Still from people we know and from those we do not.  So grateful for His gracefulness during unsettling times.  Always humbling that we are not left alone yet we are assured that I have always had peace and guidance in knowing that I have my friends, family, and those I don't even know saying... yes you can.

I leave you with this song by Martina McBride that I dedicate to my husband who has "loved me through it".  While this journey is not one we ever thought we would be going through in the end our love will see us through the good and the bad.  So many obstacles have gotten in the way and it has been a bumpy ride.  There are still no guarantees that anything we have done has worked but there is one, our family.  It is as if Martina McBride wrote this song with me in mind, well almost... as you read the lyrics.. I am 39.....have 4 kids...they took more than they planned.... listen and you will be amazed.  Thank you Dani for sharing and being the friend you have been, you made us cry.  I wish they had different lyrics in part of this song that would say "THEY loved me through it" because so many of you have that are reading this, it will never be forgotten and will forever leave a lasting impression in our lives and hearts.  We are loved.

Martina McBride "I'm Gonna Love You Through It"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxIt70j_SPk